The Jewish Education Experience Podcast
The Jewish Education Experience Podcast by Yasminah with the goal to uncover gems of wisdom with Jewish educators from around the world. The podcast features interviews with Jewish educators outlining their stories, tips of the trade, advice, support, and insights. We hope this podcast will assist educators at every stage of their journey - those who are just beginning and those who have dedicated their lives to this vital profession that is Jewish Education.
The Jewish Education Experience Podcast
117: How Relationship First Teaching Keeps Kids Connected To Torah with Rabbi Ezra Elstein
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Rabbi Ezra Elstein grew up in Philadelphia, went through the local Jewish day school system, and somewhere along the way lost his connection to Torah. It wasn't anyone's fault — it just wasn't the right fit. Years later, learning in Eretz Yisroel through open conversation and genuine curiosity, he rediscovered what Jewish learning could feel like. That experience changed everything.
When he and his wife started raising their own children, they dreamed of a school where Torah felt alive and personal — where every child felt seen. So they built one. With guidance from Rav Shalom Kamenetsky, TIDE began in their basement with four kids. Today it's a thriving school at Keneseth Israel serving boys in grades 1–8.
With over 15 years in education, Rabbi Elstein leads TIDE around one simple belief: every child deserves to discover that learning Torah can be joyful and meaningful.
Gems:
- Work on solving problems, don’t ignore them.
- Avoid/limit screens.
- Be with our children every step of the way.
- Hashem gave us our children because we’re the right people to help this particular child grow to be who they need to be.
- Help your child along their path.
- Trust that we’ve raised our children properly.
- Our generation needs more training in life skills than previous generations.
- It’s not about providing a certain template or format but finding the child’s path that he can grow up with.
- Find out what the deeper thing is that they’re struggling with.
- Build the relationship with the child first, before beginning curriculum.
- Think long term.
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Welcome And Program Spotlight
SPEAKER_00Welcome to the Jewish Education Experience Podcast with your host, Yasmina, featuring inspiring conversations and gems of wisdom from Jewish educators around the world. This episode is brought to you by Tikpa. There's a growing movement reimagining Jewish education, one grounded in a simple but powerful idea that real thinking starts with real reading. A movement that believes teachers should be teachers, not therapists. And that every Jewish student deserves to understand how Judaism has shaped the human story. Tikva, a leading organization in this space, has partnered with the University of Dallas to offer a master's degree that reflects that vision. An MA in humanities with a concentration in Jewish classical education. This isn't just a program for classroom teachers. It's designed for educators, yes, but also for parents, school leaders, and anyone who wants to engage deeply with Western civilization and culture through a Jewish lens. If you're looking to strengthen both your teaching and your own learning, this is a program worth exploring. Applications for the upcoming year are now open. To learn more, visit Jewish ClassicalEducation.org. Again, Jewish ClassicalEducation.org. And thanks to TikFolk for supporting our show. To our audience, thank you so much. We really appreciate your support. And because of you, our podcast has reached 10,000 downloads and growing. It's continuing to reach Jewish educators, parents, principals, administrators, and also students. Also, please consider supporting our podcast by joining our Patreon community. www.patreon.com forward slash Jewish Education Experience podcast. And to all of you, Jewish educators and students of Jewish education around the world, Hisku the Insu, may you be strengthened and encouraged in your holy endeavors. In this episode, I interview Rabbi Ezra Elstein, who grew up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He went through the local Jewish day school system and somewhere along the way lost his connection to Torah. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just wasn't the right fit. Years later, learning in Eric C. Through open conversation and genuine curiosity, he rediscovered what Jewish learning could feel like. That experience changed everything. When he and his wife started raising their own children, they dreamed of a school where Tora felt alive and personal, where every child felt seen. So they built one. With guidance from Raf Shalom Komanetsky, Ty began in their basement with four children. Today it's a thriving school at Knesset, Israel. Today it's a thriving school at Knesseth, Israel in Philadelphia, serving boys in grade one through eight. With over 15 years in education, Rabbi Elstein leads tied around one simple belief. Every child deserves to discover that learning that learning Torah can be joyful and meaningful. It was a pleasure being able to speak with Rabbi Elstein and connect with him and talk with him about some of the things we're experiencing and seeing in Jewish education. And a few weeks ago, I attended a panel around Shabuot, and it was talking about exactly some of what Rabbi Elstein mentioned: the crisis happening in Jewish education, where young people, especially in the modern Orthodox community, are deciding that they don't want Judaism anymore and they're totally walking away. And so through our discussion, we kind of talked a little bit about this and ways that his school, Tide Academy, approaches and tries to help create that spark so that it's less likely that children when as they grow and get older that they will walk away from Judaism. He talks about the most important step is building that relationship and connecting with our children, whether that be as parents and also as educators. And that we are with our children every step of the way. Sometimes we have instances where we don't really want to admit the problems that we see or that's going on, and we kind of brush them under the rug. Well, let's not do that. Let's really work on solving problems and not ignoring them and brushing them under the rug so that they can fester, and then it becomes harder to deal with down the line. Trust that the gifts and the skills that Hashem has given us is what is allowing us to be able to reach that particular child in that particular time. And we're put in that place to help them. And education is not about providing a certain template or format, but finding the child's path that he can grow with. And Rabbi Elstein said that he tries to do this as much as possible in his school. You know, when a child is acting out or something is going on, it's not really the math or the English or the reading that they're struggling with. There's something deeper that's going on. So it's up to us to really work on finding what's going on and digging in and really listening to our child, listening to our student to see what's really happening. And lastly, and this is key, very important. We do tend to think in short term, you know, till the end of this year, or the end of this grade, or when they're 10, or but barn but mitzvah. We really have to have the long-term gain and think about what skills, what tools do we need to give our children, our students, so that they will be able to pull from this and draw from this when they reach their teenage years and when they reach their adult years. Things that they're gonna be used through for the rest of their lives. We're really preparing them to be adults who are able to live as Jews. So I really hope that you enjoy listening to this episode.
Why Kids Walk Away From Judaism
SPEAKER_00Our guest today is Rabbi Ezra Elstein. Hello, Rabbi Elstein. Thank you so much for joining the podcast today.
SPEAKER_01My pleasure.
SPEAKER_00Um, will you just start by telling us a little bit about yourself?
SPEAKER_01Grew up in Philly, raised in Philly, bumped around all over the place, became a teen at risk because I didn't interface well with the Kenoch world, and found my way back, loved it, and have been helping teens at risk and adapt to the stresses of, you know, from life for about 20 years. And I got pulled into younger Chinoch as I was realizing that a lot of these problems were not starting when they were 12 or 13. And uh now I find myself running in elementary school for children and enjoying every minute.
SPEAKER_00So you mentioned just a little bit in your background, stepping away from Pinoch and having trouble that you were a little bit at risk. I know this is probably a little bit of a touchy subject, but you're not the only one who has experienced going down that path or has had trouble. How can we, as a Jewish community, do you think, maybe do a better job at trying to help young people who maybe don't feel like they belong or are struggling?
SPEAKER_01Uh so first of all, we got to realize this is not a new phenomenon. Every generation has its own set of challenges. Uh Barak Hashem, we're not being killed in this generation. We have less existential challenges. And because of that, it leads to more subtle things. The best way is don't ignore problems. Don't kick the can down the road. If you're working with your child and they're having a problem, realize that if it doesn't get fixed, it's going to get worse. There something's not working. Help them, work with them, understand them, be with them to figure out what's going on. And that they're doing the best they can, whether they're six or ten. We can't just put a band-aid on everything and hope it goes away or bury it under the rug. We have to actually deal with things. Because if we deal with their problems when they're six and we're there with them when they're eight, and even if not everything's fixed, but we're there with them every step of the way, they'll stay with us every step of the way. My parents actually, even though I went through tons of challenges, my parents were with me every step of the way. And so when it was time for me to come back, I had that support already there and they were right there cheering alongside me.
SPEAKER_00You had your parents, thank God that you had that relationship with them and you felt comfortable with them, even though this was a challenge that you were going through. Did you have other people in the community that also you felt comfortable with?
SPEAKER_01Um yeah. I Barkley Shannon had support structure. Uh I was there were several older people in the community who I developed relationships with and were able to say, hey, maybe rethink this one. Or what about this? Or just places to go when I was upset and couldn't deal with things. So I just had somebody older to talk to. I was very, very fortunate.
SPEAKER_00I think even today we have a lot of struggles. And I think there's a lot going on in the world. I think it's and since October 7th, and all the challenges that kids I think are going up with, and social media also, and the access to phones and technology, I think, also causes very big challenges that we're dealing with today. And I know every generation kind of has its challenges. What advice that do you have for parents who are going through a struggle with their children? And we do just have ideas if we want our kids to grow up a certain way. And sometimes there is a bit of shame that comes with if our child is not following in the path, right? Like other
Parenting Without Shame Or Panic
SPEAKER_00kids in the community are following. So what advice do you have?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so first of all, don't never operate out of shame. Never ever operate out of shame. You gotta love your child. Hashem gave you this child. He didn't give you a different child, he didn't give you the neighbor's child, he didn't give you anybody else's child. He gave you this child with this set of strengths and this set of challenges. And he gave them to you because you're the right person to help that child grow the way they need. Now, we all have struggles in life. Sometimes we put our own needs above somebody else's. That's also true for parenting. Sometimes it's hard for to let the us, you know, egotism get out of the way of the child's growth. Maybe I want my child to look a certain way. You know, maybe I want my child to grow up liftish, but they're really kind of and I'm gonna fight them on that. And that's not good because that's the child's path. Or maybe it isn't. Maybe they're just exploring and they just want to try it on because you know, little kids try on costumes to see, do I want to be a fireman? And they can try on long paias to see, do I want to have long pious. And that that's part of growing up. We try different things, and no, that doesn't really fit. I, you know, like my father's way better. Or I, you know, I really do like this. And so that's part of growing up is trying different things. And if we let our own, whatever reasons they are, whatever, um, they could be very important. But if we let our own self get in the way of the child's experimentation in a healthy way, again, not an unhealthy way, not a destructive way, but experimentation of trying on different things, you know, uh sabbat, breast love, sat mirror, uh liftish, yeshivish, uh, modern orthodoxy, like it's not saying they have to go fully in, but just let them try it. They have a friend in that general, like, let them see what it's like and let them make their own decisions and trust that you've raised them properly to think and make decisions and that they're gonna do a good job.
SPEAKER_00That's really important. I agree, and that's exactly what is, right? Khenuchana are alpidako, gam ki as kim loya torminana, like we learn in Mishlay chapter 22, verse six.
SPEAKER_01And that that is the foundation of the word chinoch, the the system of khenoch, and you know, a good chunk of Jewish life is about that. And the Possach's very simply saying, give a ch find a child's way, help him develop his way so that he can keep that for the rest of his life. And certain demographics within my neighborhood in Philadelphia, their needs weren't being met in terms of helping them find their way. I'm not knocking this, they have the most amazing, most dedicated people in the world. The Rebeyam are most are nefish. They give their heart and soul to these children for pennies on the dollar of what they're worth in the market. The Rebeyam are all-stars. My hat goes off to them because they really, really are amazing. The Hanhalla puts everything into it. They live and breathe their schools, and they're doing everything that they can. For some reason, not everybody's needs are met. And everybody in the Kennech will tell you that we're trying everything we can. It's re we're working really, really hard. And this boy or this girl is not being served. And so I saw that and I said, I can help with that need. I don't really want to. I'd rather just make money and stay in the business world. But there is a need and it has to be done. And uh my ish Kyle told me that I have to do it no matter what, because nobody else is gonna do it. I said, But I'm I'm not I'm not a top Rebbe, I'm not a top everything. You have these amazing people that are tzadiqim. Why should I do it? She said, But Makum Chanish, there's nobody else doing it. You have to do it. I'm not saying I'm not the best at everything. I'm I'm not a tzadik. I'm a regular guy with regular problems, but I happen to be good at this one thing.
SPEAKER_00I think it's amazing how you're approaching education and trying to reach students who maybe for various reasons, despite the wonderful schools that are out there and that are they have access to,
Relationship Before Curriculum
SPEAKER_00it's not it didn't work for them. Do you think that we do sometimes have an idea or thought that because we're at this point with our clean off the system, the way it's set up, that every student needs to learn XYZ Rashi script by this amount of time, this by this amount of time. And any student who doesn't meet that criteria, they kind of fall through the cracks. Is that something that you've noticed that is a struggle with some students?
SPEAKER_01So, Yasmina, when we were kids, that was maybe an issue that we were pushing kids into certain boxes and they couldn't fit it. I don't really think that's the issue anymore. I I think I think society's moved past that. At this point, the issue is that children have a lot of emotional needs, they have a lot of executive functioning needs, there's a lot of development that needs to happen in order for them to be successful adults. And for some reason, our generation, they're either more sensitive. If you listen to Rabbi Kalish, we have the most sensitive, most nuanced generation in history. But for whatever reason, our generation needs a lot more training in basic life skills functioning derekherats than any previous generation. Uh I'm not going to speculate what that is. It's just any educator will tell you that's where we're at. They're not functioning adults walking out of 20 years of schooling. And and so the question is, how do we get them there successfully? How do we get them to be a from, well-rounded adult who can handle anything Hashem throws their way and succeed?
SPEAKER_00I think we're seeing that overall in society too, not just in the Jewish world, that we have a lot of people growing up to adulthood that unfortunate really aren't prepared for the responsibility for just life. They think we do have hypersensitivity. A colleague of mine says something about this generation, she called it Mashiach generation, just something about the way young people are connecting with each other. They really want something authentic and real, not just sugar coating. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_01Again, because our generation has these needs, the khinoch has to change because the podsuk says it's not about providing a certain template or a certain format. It's about finding the child's path that he can grow up with. And in order to do that, the first thing that has to be done is you have to get to know who that child is. If we have a different generation than previous generations, you can't tell them to walk 10 miles in the snow uphill both ways. It won't work if they can cross the street. We're proud of them. It's not quite that bad, but our generation, they're not equipped for all the things that previous generations were. And at the same time, they're sensitive to other things that previous generations didn't care about. They want deep emotional connection, they want to have that personal connection with that Rebbe. And if they don't have that, they won't perform. They won't bond, they won't do anything. And so our generation needs different things just to get to adulthood successfully. They need real, real understanding and relationship. And the core of everything that has to be done is building that relationship between the Rebbe and the Talmud, between the Mora and the whoever it is, but that relationship has to be there so that we can understand what they're going through and how to help them. And that that is foundational. It goes before everything else because they're not struggling with the math. They're struggling with something else. And when we unlock that, the math becomes easy. And when we unlock that, the the Gemara becomes easy because there was something else bothering them. They couldn't focus on the Gemara.
SPEAKER_00So how does
Reaching Students In Real Time
SPEAKER_00a Rebbe or a Mura Mora, how do they approach, or even the school at large, the administrators, et cetera, approach this, being that in many schools, the classroom sizes are very big. Um, there's tuition issues, there's administrative issues that they have to deal with, all these things come up. And yet it makes it a little bit of a challenge sometimes to be able to have that time to really get to know their tail meet and really get to uh figure out what is the deeper need or issue going on um with this child.
SPEAKER_01That that is a challenge that we're all grappling with. And that that is probably the number one question in Kenoch. How do we get to know the children while doing so many things that Rabam do? Uh, these guys are gladiators, they're going in there, they've got to juggle their large their families, the time, the preparation. So, my answer to it, which works for me and my school, and was let's throw out the preparation, let's get rid of um giving them a certain amount of curriculum, giving them a certain amount of stuff, and let's spend the time getting to know the children and helping the children with what they're doing. And so the Rebam in my school, we're not lecturing to the class, not because we can't teach that way, but because we're too busy getting to know them. Hey, you're learning a Rashi. Let me come over and help you. Let's learn it together, and I'll spend three minutes with that boy. We'll learn the Rashi together. And then he'll I'll be like, Oh, go practice it. And I'll go around the room. And 15 minutes later, 20 minutes later, I'll come back to him and say, Did you make any progress? Let's go over it again. Let's see how we did. And I'll hear a different Rashi. Or sometimes I don't hear a different Rashi. And that's my cue to talk to the boy during recess and say, Hey, what's going on? I see you're losing focus. Um you really love this Gamara. What can we do? And very often they'll open up if you have a good relationship. And if you don't, then just throw a ball back and forth. And that usually calms them down, or whatever works for that child, whether you know, listening to their magic trick or listening to what happened over the weekend, but you get into their life and they want to be part of yours.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, I like that. I have a friend of mine lives in a bigger community, and she had mentioned that her son he really is into football, and sometimes the other boys at school kind of tease him a little bit and say, Oh, you know, what are you doing? You're into football, but it's something he really is into. And one of his rebame, he dropped what he was doing during recess one day and threw the football with him. And it just brightened his day that, you know, here's a Rebbe, more of a yesheavish guy, so you know, white shirt, everything, and here he is throwing the football. And it reminds me of what you just said there about um how to come and approach the student and really meet them where they are and find out what they're interested in. It can be a bit of a challenge in that regard too, because we do have pressure of oh, we gotta get our students to know this, this, this. We need to prepare them to be Jews who are knowledgeable in Torah and these votes and this and that. And sometimes we have our own issues, like, um, I dress this way, I look this way, and how can I get them out of my own ego so that I can really approach this student? So, how do you help that educator who maybe is struggling with that? Like, yes, I want to get to know my student, but I have all this other stuff that's on my mind. And things to do.
SPEAKER_01First of all, I'm not judging him at all. Regular educators, regular Rebam have so much to do. It's so hard and they do so many things. I think, if anything, my job is a thousand times easier. Like my job is I unlock the child and motivate them and help them and provide structure. And then they do the work. A regular Rebbe has to do the work for the child, then get the child to learn it, then get them to do it. And all while connecting to them, I my hat goes off to them. These are amazing people. My job is much easier. I want to develop a relationship. I want to motivate you. And I want to get you into track where you're learning Gemara and you're staging at the Gemara. And I'm going to help you along the way. But every time I help you, it's relationship building. And so I'm going to help you differently than I help your Kharusa. And I'm going to help you, your Kharusa Shaf, different than I help the next Herusa shop because there's a totally different relationship. And so one, I'm going in joking and making jokes, and the other one, I'm dead serious and we're focused. And the next one, we're using football analogies, the next one you're using car analogies. And the next one we're using analogies about the Rebbe. Like because that's what gets to them. And so I have a different relationship with every Kharusishev. And I'm having a good time. I don't know how you would do that in a regular classroom. And but with Msirius Nafish, I'm sure Rabam are able to do it.
SPEAKER_00So would you mind telling us a bit more about how Tide Academy really came to be and how you were able to approach Rinoch in that way and to make it a success and to meet every child
Founding Tide Academy In Philadelphia
SPEAKER_00in that way?
SPEAKER_01So Tide came to be because there was a need. I saw that very bright boys were not necessarily working out in schools. And there's a very, very high burnout rate amongst intelligent young men. And so I started something that works for intelligent young men. Now, intelligent young men very often have low executive functioning. That means they have poor discipline, poor self-control, uh impulsiveness, not necessarily long-term thinking. So I started it based on three principles. I'm going to develop a relationship with them. I'm going to teach them life skills and how to be a mensch. And I'm going to get them in a structure that helps them develop their own internal structure. And that's what we do. And because we're getting to them exactly where they are and working with them and developing them and building them up, they become powerhouses very quickly. And so I am happy to take the problem children who are causing the Rebeam nightmares and develop them into Olive, Olive, Olive students who can take up a hair from the Rosh Kolo. Again, I have that freedom to do that. A regular Rebbe has to somewhat keep to the curriculum. So it's possible they could talk to their, you know, their principal and say, hey, can I take the long road that's really shorter? If I invest more in the children in El Osman and getting to know them, maybe I'll get more performance out of them come December. That's possible. I again I took the easy rat. And I've been experimenting and learning more week by week, month by month, and hopefully getting a little bit better at it. But I uh tell me that Yoser Mikulum, I've really learned a lot from the children, what works, what doesn't work for my children and my boys, and they're amazing, and I learn all the time from them.
SPEAKER_00So you mentioned about not exactly uh following a specific curriculum, kind of like most Jewish schools approach learning. How does Tide differ in that way? I know you mentioned bringing in life skills and all of that. So, what does a day look like? What does the year look like for students in Tide Academy?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so in terms of curriculum, we really do have a set curriculum. You have to learn Sharashim, Diktu, Korea, cold. You have to learn Khamesh, entire safer Boracious, cold. You have to learn Mishnais, at least one Seder. You have to, then you go on to Gemara. That's our curriculum for Judaics. Uh for secular, it's actually even simpler. We have a very, very simple curriculum. But the only difference is I don't have a 10-month window. I look at each child and I say, I've got a three-year window. So it could be that one child doesn't do any math for the month and he's only learning Shirusham. Okay. And I'm okay with that. Sure. And maybe next month we'll come back to math a bit more. Or right now, he doesn't have the Kalim to do Kriya, or he doesn't have the Zit Flash to do Kriya. So we're going to do something else that doesn't involve Kriya, and we're going to avoid Kriya for this child until he's successful. And once he's successful, he knows 300 shoreshams, so he's able to go through Boracious. I know you had Ray Brietti on recently. He's got an amazing program. And so the kid feels like he can open up Boracious, and yeah, he can't read it, but the other boy can read it for him and he can translate. He already feels like a success. And then six months down the line, hey, do you want to be the guy that reads also? And he's able to put in the effort. So it's not that we don't have a standard curriculum, we just have a different timeline.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I actually had someone because we homeschool. And I feel like I approach homeschool in that way. I look at my children and kind of see where they are and see their skills and goals and their personality, what strengths and weaknesses they have. And so some of some of my children, okay, I can do a little bit more of this with them.
SPEAKER_01Other what the other children's learning does affect them, but there's a window. We just have a larger window for when they can do it.
SPEAKER_00Sure. That makes sense. And then there's also differences between what girls, yes, for sure, 100% should know, and also what boys should know or you know, need to know to prepare them.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And that's communal-based.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Definitely.
SPEAKER_01A boy walking out of our school can make a leaning in Gemara, can do usually college-level mathematics, sometimes only high school level, and can write nice essays and publish them. That's our criteria for graduation.
SPEAKER_00So is it like reading, writing, or arithmetic, basically?
SPEAKER_01Reading, writing, arithmetic, and solid Gemara skills. Gemara is the apex because it requires all the other skills fully developed. That's true.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I uh I um did after I interviewed. Well, I have a colleague of mine who really praised Rabbi Rieti's um system for how he teaches. And so I bought it myself and have been using it with my children, and I have seen such a difference in their confidence and that they are really taking ownership of their learning Hebrew and learning the Sherashim. And it's something that I didn't necessarily experience in school growing up. And I know not every school, you know, every school has its strengths and all of that. It's just amazing to see how their faces bright, lighten up when they accomplish and they say, Wow, this was something that I struggled with, and I'm able to work through it. And using this system is it's just, I don't know, it's like amazing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, Rebbe Ready system is amazing. And you've experienced that with children that have failed at other systems. When you do it with a child who's never failed at Kodash, and he does it with Rebbe Ready system, he just thinks it's the easiest thing in the world to translate the entire safe version by himself. Sure. It's like, oh, I I need a help with the word. Okay, you just did two pages, you didn't need help with anything. No, that was easy. And this is a seven-year-old. I couldn't do that. I I remember I was still being spoon-fed
Teaching Life Skills And Respect
SPEAKER_01in third grade.
SPEAKER_00Um, so what kind of life skills do you teach your students?
SPEAKER_01So we do a lot. We we really we really cover a lot with the life skills. Um, starting from personal property, responsibility, more responsibility, more responsibility. I I don't know if you've experienced this, but sometimes boys don't necessarily pick up responsibility that's really lacking, like how to treat your own property so that you can treat other people's property with respect. Just a concept that I don't see as present as I would like to. And so that's something we really work on with the boys because it's culturally not here, like in our environment. How to respect other people because they have an ashama and because Hashem made them this way. Something the silliest little thing, but it makes a big difference. We don't have a food policy in school. We don't say you don't keep this level of kosher, you can't bring your food in, or you can't bring in meat, or you can't bring in pasta straw, or you can't bring in food that's not yashan. What we teach each child to do is say, these are my kosher things that my family does. Please respect us. And the other children, if they bring in something that doesn't comply, it's not Yashan, don't share it with that boy. It's not pasta shrill, don't share it with that boy.
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_01It's not Khlavish Rol, don't share it with that boy. It's not this type of shita. Like just be respectful. And something as simple as their lunch becomes a tool for respect. And hey, you have a different background than me, and that's that's great. And I respect you for it.
SPEAKER_00How much buy-in or assistance do you get from parents with enforcing um these guidelines?
SPEAKER_01These guidelines is about the children, it's not about the parents. Um when the children come in with something different, then the children have to share that this isn't possible.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01That that's on it's a responsibility on the child. Because that that's the skill we want. Think about what somebody else, how it might affect somebody else. I I don't really care if your food is or isn't or follows it, you know, even if you're bringing a star K, like just let the other children know that my family's rough says this is okay, or we don't have a ruff and it says it's okay, and you guys don't eat this, and that's okay. And so they're not feeling judged, they're not feeling disrespected, and the other children aren't feeling left out because they get respect.
SPEAKER_00That's really important, and also just knowing how to like you mentioned, respect each other and interact with each other. I think that's key. And it brings up all the what we learn in Torah, you know, how Yosef and his brothers interacted with each other, and you know, just different things that we we learn in our MSORA. Um can you remind me um which grade do your school goes up to? Is it up to eighth or is it up to twelve?
SPEAKER_01Uh we only go up to eighth. We're first or eighth grade. First through eighth grade. Okay. Um by eighth grade, there's really nothing I have to teach them. They just have to go off and be independent somewhere. Go to yeshiva, learn well.
SPEAKER_00Like amazing.
SPEAKER_01Like, you know, elementary school time and the middle school time is the time where you develop your social skills and your your basic discipline and your basic you know approach to life. That we do really well. But in terms of deep Torah learning, where you're really, really investing in it, time to develop that's high school. And the boys need to go to a place that specializes in that. Or if they're gonna go a different track, they need to go to something that specializes in where they want to go in life.
SPEAKER_00That makes sense, definitely. Is are there any educators that have inspired you?
SPEAKER_01I mean, Rabbi Riedy is a constant inspiration on also on Speed Dial. Rabbi Kelleman, uh Revolbe, like Rabbi Miller. I mean, there's so many. We have so many giants and luminaries have talked about education for millennia. That's that's what Jewish people do. We're all about Khenoch. We're all about education for ourselves, for our children. Like that, that's who we are. So we're constantly growing, we're constantly adapting. And you know, it's new, and we're applying old principles to new situations and seeing what we come up with.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly right. Um, I like Rabbi Daniel App, and he always talks about ancient Jewish wisdom and how it's really applicable to every single time period that we live in, you know, the timeess principles that really never go out of style, so to speak. You mentioned you were in the business world before and then entered into the education world. What have you found
Screen Addiction And What Comes Next
SPEAKER_00to be your biggest challenge?
SPEAKER_01Detoxing kids from screens. I I can do a lot with a child, and a child can do a tremendous amount. And in our generation, the off-the-dark kids had drugs and you know, they got into other stuff, but now it's just screens. The number one, number two, and number three drug is screens and screen addiction. And a healthy, functional, well-balanced child can get sucked into video games or social media or worse things. That's a healthy, functional child. An ADHD child is off balance, has poor decision-making ability typically. They don't get sucked in, they they get captured and they're there. And if your child was on screens for six hours last night, they don't come to school, they're just in zombie mode until they can get their next hit, basically. My number one challenge is getting children off of screens.
SPEAKER_00So, what advice do you do you have for parents in that realm?
SPEAKER_01Uh, my advice for parents if you're letting your children have screens, talk to an older parent who has a teen who let their child follow that path. Talk to a parent with an ADHD child who's 13, 14, 15, and have let their child have tremendous screen access. Ask yourself, do you want this? Do you want that outcome? Or would you rather suffer the pain now of dealing with it and pulling it away? Or would you rather that 15-year-old who's throwing things, threatening, tantruming, refuses to go to school without XYZ and holds the family hostage for access to screens? Or who's 40 years old and still lives in his parents' basement. Again, I it's definitely painful, and my heart goes out to parents, and we're living very busy lives, and we're stressed out and we're exhausted and we're tired, and sometimes it's just easier to give the kids uh their fix. Um, just realize that there's a cost.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think it's one of the biggest challenges of our day for sure. Um, all right. Well, Rabbi Elstein, last question. What do you think Jewish education will look like in the future?
SPEAKER_01Jewish education in the future is going to look much more it's gonna be stratified. There's going to be those that double down and say that curriculum is the be all, end all, and it's all about status. And you're gonna go to these types of schools and you have these types of classes, and that will be your status, and you will gain status from doing that, and that will that will do very, very well. And the more status that it's providing, the more people will enroll. On the other hand, you're gonna have adaptive education that is all about results and whatever it takes to get performing children that are healthy, and you'll have different outcomes, but it's gonna take 20 years before those outcomes are noticeable.
SPEAKER_00Well, Rabbi Elstein, thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me tonight.